so as am keying all this i am still thinking what really am i gonna talk about?i do have a few ideas floating in the depths of my cerebral cavity, but most of those will end up like am marketing myself...hmmmm...what to do?what to do?
man this conflict within me to decide on what to write seems to be far more exhaustive than the task of 'choosing a husband'...and that phrase, my dear friends, i think is exactly what am gonna focus on...oh you poor souls!!!now i really feel bad for you guys...those reading will know why ;)
the issue is that i don't believe in the institution of marriage...no!!!those of you married please do not mistake that statement of mine...i am not 'against' the institution of marriage...i mean for those who want it, superb!!! but i genuinely believe that u need to be emotionally and more importantly (for slightly under-developed minds like mine)mentally prepared for it...guess whaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? i just am NOT ready!!!
now this pertinent point seems to be highly impossible to be understood by my family and a few close friends...they actually make it sound like i have some kind of illness..an illness brought about by the dominant western construct that i have somehow managed to adopt, an illness brought about by my 'youth' (man that's the funniest i have ever heard)an illness thats happened coz i live in the city that i do...wow!!!i am so ill and i never knew...so what's been happening is that a lot of proposals have been coming to ma family seeking for ma hand in marriage...you see for most of us Indians and more specifically tam-brahm girls this isn't unusual and if i was like the others i couldn't have asked for anything better...but yellow, am confuzd jughead ...so this aint all that fun
i had no idea that my family was receiving proposals...i think twas damn sweet of them to have kept quiet about it... but again there are two tangents here...one is that they are really scared of me and so they haven't breathed a word of this to me...and am not really kicked about this thought...the other tangent which is more likely to happen is that there is this big conspiracy going on...i know ma folks...they are unbelievably quiet and they are so wonderfully accommodating...it is so not them...so i think am gonna play along and see where the road leads...just hope i dont bang head on against some wall...
anyways, why has choosing a partner (you know marriage really aint necessary to have one) become so complex and complicated to the point of having become impossible?you know i think i could learn and practice yoga and levitate faster and earlier than actually find a suitable man for myself...now those reading will be thinking, 'yea right!!!you must be so choosy and you act like men aren't there'...guess i will try and ignore this judgment and still accept you with my arms open (just for a hug, mind you!!!also you can't have any body odor if you want one )...but seriously i am so not choosy...in fact i tend to incline towards the other end of the spectrum, wherein i have absolutely no expectations from men whatsoever...in fact many a times it has worked against me...the only conditions, if you wanna call them that, are:he should be decent to look at-i don't want an Adonis but i am not belle to accept a beast (not all that noble you know)-he should be well settled financially with a tidy sum in his bank account (again something i don't think is asking for much...i mean am sure am helping the guy by saving him trips to the mall or spending some dough on beer...with all the professional tension why have this as well?i am there to fulfill these responsibilities ;) - he should accept me for who i am and more specifically my independent and strong minded nature (this is where the indian boys take a blow in my list...they just aren't able to digest this side to women..and to think i was under the illusion that liberation of women was actually in progress here!!!hmmm!!!)-and lastly i just want him to try and understand me(aren't i an angel?i don't even expect the guy to fully understand me...at least i didn't make any such statement ;) )
so there you go...the above mentioned reasons are precisely why am still single...also the fact that if it gets serious, these days guys pop out the dreadful M word even before we women get a hint of what's going on in his beautiful head...and if the girl doesn't want to we have so many labels attached to our name..it's not like munnabhai m.b.b.s...its more like xyxy b*t*h or xyxy feminist or xyxy ungrateful wretch blah blah blue...we have quite a few letters of the alphabet attached to our names...am asking why?although if a guy aint ready to marry it's just that...he aint ready...nothing more or nothing less...
but this is what i have decided...if at all god forbid am forced to sit on the mantap and get married, you guys can be sure that beneath all those kilos of silk and gold and diamonds and rubies and flowers and smoke and blessings i would have hidden a pair of nike shoes with ma feet securely stored in them...comes handy when you have to jump off the mantap and run you know..man it really sounds like some good fun if you were to visualize a bride in all her finery running, holding her saree up to her mid calf, the groom behind her and the families tailing him...i would definitely love such an action packed day to happen at least once in my life ;)
hmmm guess by now i have proven how am so ready for the M thingamajig...but if you still persist in thinking that it might actually suit me well see what's below and then tell me if you still hold on to that noble thought ;)
you can change the henry to any name you want...but that would be me sitting there and talking to ma ex if i was to ever tie the knot(that too i would only be talking to sort out the financial issues, you know)...that's ma vision of the future ahead if an untoward event such as M were to happen to me...so now you tell ;)
