I was 'queerish' with all the excitement and colors that went swirling round me again and again last afternoon. With the secure comfort of my camera I hesitantly started clicking my pictures worried sick how they might turn out to be. Guess the fear came from that pocket of my being that wanted me to be a 'photographer.' The pocket does not exist anymore!
I am no 'photographer.'
I am a 'thief who hunts.' I stole and captured moments. I froze emotions and kept them with me. I picked and collected colors slyly hiding them in my digital basket. Flipping through my bounty made me realize how a pinch of pure joy and a dash of unabashed excitement at that right moment helped create a memory that's distinctly etched in my mind. A memory that has miraculously managed to make me grin ear to ear literally.
I walked. I danced. I laughed. I hugged. I drank. I ate. and I clicked myself to delirious joy in 'gay abandon.'
Wishes sometimes do seem to be horses
although an ordinary beggar like myself would love to ride
ride far away from all of this confusion
sadness i know i can cry
happiness i know i can laugh
anger i know i can yell
jealousy i know i can sulk
confusion i know not how to react
a void filled emotion is not something i think i handle well
yet it fills my head
occupies all of my time
days of frolic and carefree abandon lost
so far scattered opinions colliding to create friction
Wish i could ride away from it all
old times' sake blackmails me into stalling
yet does not stop me from wondering what next
where to from here
does the journey continue or does it flow into ambiguity?
anybody?