this one is seriously long ;)

phew!!!been thinking relentlessly for the past day and a half about what to write...the problem is that am really not the sorts to document what i do in my day to day life...i mean for that i could always maintain a journal...now my life i must admit is extremely interesting...i definitely can share a couple of episodes on world wide web...i mean seriously how many people actually read my blog? but the problem is even if 1 out of the 3 reading happens to be one of the characters mentioned in my post, i can be sure that am doomed...considering the fact that we all have to face it one day or the other i decided i did not want to catalyze the cosmic conspiracy and decided to leave it all to happen on its own...
so as am keying all this i am still thinking what really am i gonna talk about?i do have a few ideas floating in the depths of my cerebral cavity, but most of those will end up like am marketing myself...hmmmm...what to do?what to do?
man this conflict within me to decide on what to write seems to be far more exhaustive than the task of 'choosing a husband'...and that phrase, my dear friends, i think is exactly what am gonna focus on...oh you poor souls!!!now i really feel bad for you guys...those reading will know why ;)
the issue is that i don't believe in the institution of marriage...no!!!those of you married please do not mistake that statement of mine...i am not 'against' the institution of marriage...i mean for those who want it, superb!!! but i genuinely believe that u need to be emotionally and more importantly (for slightly under-developed minds like mine)mentally prepared for it...guess whaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? i just am NOT ready!!!
now this pertinent point seems to be highly impossible to be understood by my family and a few close friends...they actually make it sound like i have some kind of illness..an illness brought about by the dominant western construct that i have somehow managed to adopt, an illness brought about by my 'youth' (man that's the funniest i have ever heard)an illness thats happened coz i live in the city that i do...wow!!!i am so ill and i never knew...so what's been happening is that a lot of proposals have been coming to ma family seeking for ma hand in marriage...you see for most of us Indians and more specifically tam-brahm girls this isn't unusual and if i was like the others i couldn't have asked for anything better...but yellow, am confuzd jughead ...so this aint all that fun
i had no idea that my family was receiving proposals...i think twas damn sweet of them to have kept quiet about it... but again there are two tangents here...one is that they are really scared of me and so they haven't breathed a word of this to me...and am not really kicked about this thought...the other tangent which is more likely to happen is that there is this big conspiracy going on...i know ma folks...they are unbelievably quiet and they are so wonderfully accommodating...it is so not them...so i think am gonna play along and see where the road leads...just hope i dont bang head on against some wall...
anyways, why has choosing a partner (you know marriage really aint necessary to have one) become so complex and complicated to the point of having become impossible?you know i think i could learn and practice yoga and levitate faster and earlier than actually find a suitable man for myself...now those reading will be thinking, 'yea right!!!you must be so choosy and you act like men aren't there'...guess i will try and ignore this judgment and still accept you with my arms open (just for a hug, mind you!!!also you can't have any body odor if you want one )...but seriously i am so not choosy...in fact i tend to incline towards the other end of the spectrum, wherein i have absolutely no expectations from men whatsoever...in fact many a times it has worked against me...the only conditions, if you wanna call them that, are:he should be decent to look at-i don't want an Adonis but i am not belle to accept a beast (not all that noble you know)-he should be well settled financially with a tidy sum in his bank account (again something i don't think is asking for much...i mean am sure am helping the guy by saving him trips to the mall or spending some dough on beer...with all the professional tension why have this as well?i am there to fulfill these responsibilities ;) - he should accept me for who i am and more specifically my independent and strong minded nature (this is where the indian boys take a blow in my list...they just aren't able to digest this side to women..and to think i was under the illusion that liberation of women was actually in progress here!!!hmmm!!!)-and lastly i just want him to try and understand me(aren't i an angel?i don't even expect the guy to fully understand me...at least i didn't make any such statement ;) )
so there you go...the above mentioned reasons are precisely why am still single...also the fact that if it gets serious, these days guys pop out the dreadful M word even before we women get a hint of what's going on in his beautiful head...and if the girl doesn't want to we have so many labels attached to our name..it's not like munnabhai m.b.b.s...its more like xyxy b*t*h or xyxy feminist or xyxy ungrateful wretch blah blah blue...we have quite a few letters of the alphabet attached to our names...am asking why?although if a guy aint ready to marry it's just that...he aint ready...nothing more or nothing less...
but this is what i have decided...if at all god forbid am forced to sit on the mantap and get married, you guys can be sure that beneath all those kilos of silk and gold and diamonds and rubies and flowers and smoke and blessings i would have hidden a pair of nike shoes with ma feet securely stored in them...comes handy when you have to jump off the mantap and run you know..man it really sounds like some good fun if you were to visualize a bride in all her finery running, holding her saree up to her mid calf, the groom behind her and the families tailing him...i would definitely love such an action packed day to happen at least once in my life ;)
hmmm guess by now i have proven how am so ready for the M thingamajig...but if you still persist in thinking that it might actually suit me well see what's below and then tell me if you still hold on to that noble thought ;)



you can change the henry to any name you want...but that would be me sitting there and talking to ma ex if i was to ever tie the knot(that too i would only be talking to sort out the financial issues, you know)...that's ma vision of the future ahead if an untoward event such as M were to happen to me...so now you tell ;)

THE WON AND WONLY 'KARAN JINXED JOHAR' AKA KJINJO

Karan Johar or rather Karan Jinxed Johar???

wondering what am getting at?don't stress those poor gray cells of yours coz in a short while you will know why 'the jinxed.' but first something about the man... i mean we should give him some amount of dignity first before stripping it off him right?ok here goes from my ever reliable wikipedia (please note folks from wikipedia i have done some PR for you free of cost here ;D): Karan Johar as the web page would call him, was born on May 25, 1972 in mumbai...he hails from an illustrious 'filmy family' as we would call them-he has studied at Greenlawns high school blah blah blue-interesting snippet:has a masters degree in French and actually wanted to move to Paris before he got involved in Dharma Productions, that would be his folks' production house...

guess that's enough dope on our man..now kjinjo-short form for karan jinxed johar...neways he is fondly known as KJO by our 'oh-so-original' media and the filmy fraternity here...i mean seriously, do they think they are giving JLO a run for her money?anyways our kjinjo(psst he sounds like some ninja boy no?)wanted to explore all avenues that his creative juices would allow him to...so, our man gets into hosting a talk show besides film making and direction...now for all those original angrezis and phirangs and our very originally manufactured indian angrezis, kjinjo's talk show was called 'Koffee with Karan' and hey he has poetic license to tamper with the spelling of coffee ok...i guess k instead of c in coffee looks better than a c in karan..see----CARAN...now that could even be an Italian name...anyways koffee with karan i have to agree though was a more real and fleshy talk show as compared to the ice like plastic 'rendezvous.' and if u still cant get the difference visualize kjinjo's show as Kajol and the other one as Aishwarya Rai...guess i dont have to elucidate any further...with Rendezvous, i came to a stage where i thought my poor ears and the ear drums within had to develop a sense of hearing with an accent to understand what poor simi was trying to whisper through her bo-toxed cheeks and collagen filled lips...anyways coming back to the man of the moment, his show was definitely fun and oh so am not trying to promote anyone but just that it happens, i mean they are all frenz but pathetic actors and this is the least i could do for them kinda thingamajig you know?

now let's keep the review of the show aside for a moment...coz this post is about this interesting observation that i just happened to make..the first season of kjinjo's show was pretty much the usual with nothing interesting to talk about...but it's in the second season is when something happened...now what happened is your next question...what happened was almost all the celebrities i remembered from the few episodes i managed to catch who spoke about their love lives all split up and guess tabu and abhishek bachchan (are there to chs in his name?who cares?) were the two who got themselves involved with someone though tabu says its all rumors..anyways back to kjinjo's show, lets see how many split...first, viveik (or wateva numerological changes the child has made to his name i know not) oberoi and aishwarya rai:they split...kareena/kareina (hate numerology man) kapoor and shahid kapoor:they split, saif ali khan and roza cat'something':he says on the sunday that they are very much together and the next day times carries the news that they have broken up...ahem the ironies of life i tell you...John Abraham and Bipasha Basu: they almost split thanks to the soccer baby christiano ronaldo and i cant blame her here really...who else? guess should have watched more episodes...yes preity zinta who just mentioned ness wadia..thankfully he didnt come on the show so they survived the rough patch...

now can't stress ma cerebral hemisphere no more for more couples..but seriously kjinjo, what's with your show and break ups man?i really feel bad for you mama (no am not referring to you as my mom but just a term of endearment..thought you might need it after all )...who knows what kinda voodoo is going on there...better check that out and see if you can negate the curse man...

but i must say i louve that boy...he could be so damn sarcastic with that goofy smile on his face and oh bleddy cheeky and nobody would guess...and what's best about him?he's a brilliant businessman...he does, what ekta mercilessly does to us on small screen, on a much larger platform and still successfully brings home the moolah!!!!guess donald trump could take a few lessons from our very own desi kjinjo trump ;) and for all those who didn't know, here's a latest discovery i made on the boy and would love to give him complete credit for...the fact that he can actually dance...he aint ur hrithik roshan or prabhudeva but man he CAN dance!!!!

Disclaimer:if i have been rude or have been 'politcally rude' i am so sorry that i do not absolutely what so ever intend to apologize for that...i truly believe in freedom of expression...therefore i encourage you to exercise yours and leave comments behind..and even if you choose to leave behind the choicest of expletives i assure you to read them with my eyes shut tight and accept it maganimously!!!

until next time....hasta luega

It Must Be Love Though It Isn't

ok...you will find below the lyrics to Don Williams' song 'It Must Be Love-' now before you jump to any conclusions i haven't had the fortune of meeting a wonderful young man and thinking 'oh!it must be love' (blush! blush!)-i would really appreciate it though if there was a caring and sympathetic and most importantly a wise soul out there who would take the trouble of elucidating what does 'a wonderful young man' really mean-because in this tiny life of mine, i haven't really met a MAN, i mean they are more boys-then if i end up meeting someone who is almost there to being a 'man' he aint wonderful or young-now really don't wanna get into the details and explain how if he is wonderful he aint young or a man or if he is young he aint wonderful or a man-wait guess i just did get into the dynamics of the equation-anyways coming back to the matter on hand which actually is the song, i am posting it coz i can only see love in songs such as these (i mean the word is there in the lyrics, printed right in front of you when you read them)-nah!!!don't you dare label me a cynic just by reading the above few lines-i am not being a cynic rather am being a practical romantic-
it will be a little difficult to understand all that's been written above but hey don't worry-when you don't have a career, when your love life is beyond non-existent, when you leave the city you live in and shift for a month and a half to a city you thought you detested your entire life and grow to liking it, and when the heat there burns your skin, trust me you will achieve the zen that i have successfully achieved in this 'ripe young' age of mine (feel like some fruit-maybe avocado)-
ok enough of all ma gyan- find below ma fav song of the day :)

IT MUST BE LOVE
- don williams

First I get cold, then hot
Think I'm on fire, but I'm not
Oh, what a pain I've got
It must be love


There's nothing I can do
All that I want is you
Look what I'm going through
It must be love


CHORUS:
It must be love, it must be love
I fall like a sparrow, fly like a dove
You must be the dream, I've been dreamin' of
Oh what a feeling, it must be love


Something is wrong alright
I think of you all night
Can't sleep til morning light
It must be love


Seeing you in my dreams
Holding you close to me
Oh what else can it be
It must be love

I, ME AND MA QUIRKS- TA DA!!!!

guess it's the world aishu blog day today or rather was yesterday and continues today...little confused with the time factor?ok...lemme try and help you out with this one though am no genius when it comes to temporal concepts...you see its 4.11Am 23/July/08 and i haven't slept a wink since i got up at 10.10AM on the 22/July/08...so ma tuesday has smoothly flowed into ma wednesday and ma wednesday still feels like yesterday...hmmm guess thats how clear and rational ma thinking is at this hour of the morning ;) the birds were chirping...when they stopped the dogs started barking...the a/c, the ceiling fan and the table fan-all three seem to be immensely enjoying their conspiratorial 'jugalbandi'...ma eyes are bloody tired and burning...but my mind is working relentlessly even at this hour...what does that mean?that i have a healthy and well functioning brain...

went to the airport to pick up my uncle...saw people from various walks of life there...and as i sat there waiting and swatting that determined fly off ma nose i kept looking at people and attributed them with an imaginary story of life to each...but again, i only did this to those who looked interesting or god looking...saw so many 'phirangs' there...every time i saw one i convinced myself that my heart was skipping a beat...(yea right and to think i wrote what i wrote today or rather yesterday)...i had half a mind to hold a placard like all the cab drivers were holding that said 'INDIAN BEAUTY WANTS PHOREN BOY-HEIGHT AND WEIGHT NO PROBLEM-COLOR OBVIOUSLY WHITE-BANK BALANCE IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE-SHOULD BE BIG ENOUGH TO GIVE BILL GATES .07689% INSECURITY-IF YOU MANAGE TO POSSESS SUCH ATTRIBUTES I AM YOUR WIFE WAITING WITH A CARD AND A HEART TO EQUAL YOU BANK ACCOUNT'...man i sound like such an eloquent loser...who would have thought?meanwhile i also counted the number of iron rods that made the barricades..all in multiples of three...

and that reminded me of one of ma quirks...i used to think before doing a job a number that was a multiple of three.and if it went by what i had kept fixed in my head i used to think what i wished for would come true...for example, if i finished surfing 99 channels in 3 minutes, the guy i truly loved.....wait....lets change that to the jerk i truly loved once upon a time would call me up...crazy things like that...something else...from the age of 10 r 11 i just suddenly knew, not even desired or wanted, to marry a french guy...now why french and why at that age i dunno...it baffles me even today though it is a spaniard now ;) oh here's another quirk (it is i think)...i just know words...how i dunno...like i had words in ma head such as bazooka and babushka...now bazooka happens to be a kinda cannon or some weapon used by the armies during world war 2...babushka is a russian word for an old lady or the scarf worn by old russian women...i have no idea what so ever how i got those words in my head...so this is what i think i know of me...in my previous birth i must have been an old russian lady who used a bazooka to keep stray dogs away from her garden or an old russian lady killed by a shot from the bazooka as the soldier who was using it was under training or they used to decorate a bazooka with a babooshka and i must have been the soldier who did it...man did i have an interesting life or what!!!!

okie dokes...the plastic stool am sitting on seems to be making ma rear end feel like stone...moreover i have said enough about me and little more would be detrimental to ma social health...need to try and see if i can see a sunrise in chennai though i would rather not as the sun burns me throughout the day...hmmmm....if only wishes were horses
psst...what does that last line mean bha?

IT'S COMPLICATED!!!

i am complicated...and somehow saying this gives me a clarity like no other...my emotions are complicated, my ideas are complicated, my thinking is complicated, my life in short is complicated.. not that am complaining...but by spelling all this out i am actually wondering if it is going to help me sort out the mess that i might have very skillfully created for myself...first of all...be wise enough to learn from your friends' mistakes...she told me not to do it but guess what?i just went and did it anyway...i dunno if i did it coz i was blind and stupid or was just being a good friend and wanted her to have some company..nevertheless the mistake was given a rebirth...i am now able to empathize with her...i know what she went through...perversely am also happy to have her for company...
next never keep tripping in and out of love...i mean if you fall in love, i mean fall really hard in love, trust me it works better...see, i fell in love with this guy once...and it took me 5 bloody years to get outta that chap..the point here is that yup i was hurt when it all ended but also i had some really genuine and nice fond memories to cherish and had something to take back...now, for the past 2 years i have been tripping in and out of love...the point is, coz i don't fall real hard for these chaps i am just getting outta one relationship and bang!!!am into the next one...and the sad part here is that you get to do this with men who really aren't your type...and also the sad thing is that you don't have any nice memories to cherish..you are most often than not regretting the whole relationship, your choice in men and most importantly your ability to pick out good people...right now i don't think i will make a good choice if i had to choose a guy...
very recently i came to this deduction that like we have disposable cups, plates, bags and even underwear, we also have a new set to the disposable lot...disposable friends...now don't be shocked when you read this coz if you sit down for a moment and think about it we have all had someone, at least one person as a disposable friend and been one to another...but i realized that its all in my head...i mean if i choose to look at it that way it is the reality...but with the power of my mind i can change that reality into something more pleasant and thats what i did...its ok for me to have been a disposable friend to someone as long as i was the friend in need to him/her...
now when life really became 'complicated' this is what i did...i packed ma bags and just headed outta the city i lived in...i got the solitude i was longing for...a solitude that helped me spend more time with myself and enjoy me...in all that had happened to me the past 6 years, i had somehow lost bits and pieces and fragments of me..now i can see clearly how much of me i had lost and realize that i am slowly able to find all the pieces to the 'me jig-saw puzzle' and am filling it all up!!!funny i look but know what, i look ME!!!

is this just yet another rant of mine???

i never thought or could have preempted that growing up and being an adult would be this difficult and at times torturous...i have no idea why i would have thought otherwise..guess it was ma childlike innocence and naivety that made me think otherwise...when you take your first step you have someone holding you to help you balance..but when you take your first real step into this adult world there is no one to support you or no one out there holding his arms out ready to hold you lest you fall, give a big warm hug and tell you that 'hey its OK!!!we take it one step at a time'...maybe expecting this again is being childlike...as a child i was worried about ma basic needs...today i am worried about how to support ma basic needs..fair enough..but along with genuine worries such as the same, i have worries about what the world around me thinks of me, have i done ma job well enough to earn myself the reward of a promotion, do i have the necessary brands in ma wardrobe that raises me in the eyes of the world at large, a world that forgets to even notice the person wrapped up in such superficial accolades...i would understand if you stop to think as you are reading this whether i am over analysing the stimuli around me...perhaps i am...yet i do wish i had some of these questions answered...as a kid loneliness could have been an alien from a planet yet to be unearthed for all i cared...today it sticks by me like we are best pals...as a kid people around me made me happy...today they make me wary, keeping me alert pondering over what their next move is and what are their intentions...this world out here is so harsh and cold that the thought of staying isolated away from people in an igloo somewhere up the north pole would make me feel warmer than i do sitting in this tropical country...i do understand that it isn't all bad as i seem to be making of it...but life has bestowed on me some very harsh lessons that fail me in appreciating the good that happens...i have indeed grown to be the woman i am today, come into my own and even get strong enough that i possibly could support a multitude of people emotionally, but i always wonder where does that leave me?where do i go from here on?i dunno and i dunno why...

say hi to your tooth fairy ;)

have you ever imagined what life would have been if waxing as a technique for hair removal hadn't been discovered and one had to pluck each hair out from your hands and legs with the help of the tweezers? argh!!!!too painful to even imagine..but i just realized am enduring something worse forget imagining it...i am undergoing root canal treatment...trust me you have to run to your dentist or rather you will run to your dentist the moment you are done with this post...
now what is root canal? for the blessed ones who are yet to endure this trauma, let me explain the medical condition to the best of ma abilities...now your tooth is hollow within and nah!!there aint gas in there. it has nerves within...now why hollow and how nerves within? (you have the nerve to ask that question in your head ;) ) imgine this fragile swaraoski crystal rose plant in a glass case...yeah yeah keep wishing...it aint that beautiful but the equation is more or less similar..so neways the issue with root canal is that these oh-so-delicate nerves get infected and its time to clean the crap outta your mouth (hey am just being figurative here..no need to screw up thy face) to do this they would have to drill a hole on th surface of your tooth to enter the hollow..and then the cleaning procedure begins..man i felt like this bathroom tile who was being scrubbed clean coz it hadnt been cleaned for years on end..but i must add that ma dentist is like god to me..the only man who always elicits the same reaction from me when i meet him, as in ma jaws drop wen i see him each time and am drooling all over..one lucky soul on earth must say..but yeah he is briliant at his job and thereore i needen't worry about loosing one of ma pearly whites prematurely though the procedure when is happening makes me plead wth god to make the tooth disappear...
know i am fixating on this whole root canal treatment..but hey for someone who ran the opposite direction when you took the D of Dentist, this feels like climbing mount everest without any capabilities, be it physical or in ma case mentally...today i feel so liberated and euphoric that i think i should have sat at the dentist's instead of ma counsellor's couch...and the best thing is that alongwith my tooth even ma head seems to be clearing up..
and folks do this today coz if you ignore like i did then you too might have to empty half your savings..aint worth it...
any doubts, clarifications, suggestions or advice required in this matter please feel free to consult yours truly..................

P.S. hmmm aint too confident over the root canal spelling..but really who cares eh? dont even if you have a tendency to do so...understood?