doodles noodles

its been a warm and sultry stay so far...the beaches hold such promise and temptation..hope with trepidation...it all feels eerily dream like...yet somewhere in the abyss of my head i know this is no dream...i have finally moved out of that one city where i lived the past nine years and couldn't wait to get out of in the recent past...now though the shift has happened its bittersweet...i have finally understood the sense of being settled by unsettling myself...ironic but i have come to believe that there would have been no other way for me to realize what i have right now...i am out of place, most definitely, but surprisingly i am still me...i went ahead and bought a pair of bathroom slippers and another to be worn at home from Bata...not that big a deal if you just skip the bit where i forgot to metion that both the pairs are meant for men...i just think shoemakers are oh-so-not-considerate when it comes to women's footwear...so narrow and bloody shitty painful...and it all sells in the name of fashion...or maybe God made a small mistake while sending me 'downstairs' that i got the wrong body...i have no idea and considering the fact that dwelling on this matter would only make ma issues worse am not even going there...buddha bar's dejavu surprisingly does exactly the opposite of what it calls itself...there is no sense of oh i already knew this instead this weird kind of happiness and excitement that there is something good out there waitng for me to come and get it...after a really really long time i have started taking interest in the opposite sex...but the desired reaction/result is quite the opposite i must say...been so long been outta practice...but yea hopefully shall be back in the dating arena soon...a new city though it is the place of my birth...two things can happen to one in such a scenario...either the new city excites and inspires you enough to go and explore it or you have left such a great group of friends and family back home (the city you have come to know as your home) and this one dulls in comparison...i just wish i get the dough soon enough to go with the first option...but how does one make new friends?i have always sucked at it...challenges and more challenges...but none i think i like...and as usual am sure i have written something that might never make much sense to me either...but its fun...the fewer the readers happier is this confuzd jughead folks!!!!hasta luega mi amores

doodling around some nonsense

its the last day of the month of February...just done with my previous job and into another...finally what i have always wanted is going to happen...am moving outta the city again...after almost 9 long years...as am writing am pissed, confused, elated, hopeful, skeptical, hopeful, dubious, worried, relieved, filled with anticipation but also with dread at the thought of meeting the whole jing bang crowd that is my family after years and years and also painfully confused and lost about an issue that i am not yet ready to discuss on worldwide web...it of course has to be about a man...now can i help that?and as am writing this, trying to think what would Carrie Bradshaw be writing if she were to be in my position?i think this definitely is a sign that i stop watching SATC...but there is such a bon homie feeling when i watch the show...
i am so pissed right now i don't think i should be writing any further..and so damn glad there aren't many readers who visit my blog...what a blessing in disguise...
just wish that there was something like a 'Slap Bar' or a 'Kick Bar' where one could go and slap and kick other people employed by the bar to vent their frustrations...this would also ensure the lack of a hangover the next morning...i think its the perfect idea to vent one's anger and frustration...and i seem to be fond of repeating myself...'the' sign of being a woman i guess...man i so need one such bar soooooooo badly right now, wish it really and actually existed :(
by the way the one or two of you who read this post ensure not to copy my idea of a slap or a kick bar/lounge coz its MINE :)copy wright's with me...swalpa understand maadi!!!

Lucy in the sky with diamonds Can’t Buy Love and I’m the Walrus

KATE AND LEOPOLD AND MY FAIRY TALE

Was written on 4th Night and is being published on the 5th...i have no idea why it has two titles but it has!!!

Kate and Leopold…love defying all time periods yet accessible only in the world of the celluloid…I knew as I was watching the movie I had to write something…even if only ‘I love you’ addressed to me…I want to be in love…but thankfully I have fallen out of the phase where one tends to fall in love with the idea of being in love and lose out on a man thereby…it all seems so effortless in that world…there are time portals, a handsome man like Hugh Jackman and a character that remains just that ‘a character’ in the world of today…a man that chivalrous, hand written notes, a thoughtful homemade dinner on the terrace, a ride around the city in a chariot and a man keen on expressing his intentions to his woman before he goes any further with her…wonder if such men are limited to the world of ‘happily ever afters’ or else in the world of make believe…yet am hopeful…body tingling with anticipation at the thought of meeting one such wonderful man…a mind so playful that it keeps dangling that oh-so-yummy carrot every time I get cynical about love or relationships…a dream that keeps playing hide and seek with me that sometimes I get so infuriated that I choose to be awake in my dreams…where have those men gone who kiss you on your forehead to tell you they care, hold your hands even when you are sitting down to let you know they are there to support you or who break dishes in the kitchen while they try lending you a hand…why do I come across such men only in Mills and Boon or on television? They don’t ‘make love’ to you no more…they don’t know something called ‘sweet nothings’ ever existed or if they chose to, could still exist…

Why has it become so difficult for women to be in relationships in today’s world? financially secure, emotionally secure to a large extent and a sense of independence and individuality so strong that it never goes unnoticed…today time is spent more in shopping and in grooming than in actually spending some fun valuable time with your man…love is mechanical and funny I have to write about this with Valentine’s Day playing peek-a-boo ‘round the corner…but I also would like to promise myself that I shall lower my guard a wee bit…I owe this to myself and the charming tall dark and handsome man of my dreams who just might take pity on me and walk right in front of me…saucer like eyes I have and yet am so blind to such things in life…alas! if only I could open my heart wide like my eyes…

just to have some fun but also try and make a guess at how my modern day knight in shining armor or should we change that to my modern day knight in shining amor would be this is what popped in my head…sure feels like my head is a human version of the electronic microwave with all these thoughts popping up as and when they please like butter popcorn…

This is how he will be…Tall- would in all probabilities be an athlete or a basketball player or someone related to sports…and to think I hate sports…Dark- the men I see around who are as dark as I would like them to be are the auto drivers or my students and since I never date any of my students as a principle, leaves me with the auto drivers and guess it might be practical after all…imagine all the free transport I get...Handsome-now this is a mandate that can never be fulfilled coz for some reason today’s manufactured men are all cute or beautiful…Charming, Chivalry and Courteous are words unknown to men of this day and age unless they are 30+ old men wanting to get laid…yikes!!!not an appealing option…

So this is what I am gonna do now…I shall slip into the world of make believe within my personal biological microwave…cook up my very own customized fairy tale and start living a life of happily ever after…

Lucy in the sky with diamonds Can’t Buy Love and therefore I’m the Walrus J

Nitey nite dahlings…

ma partial idea of roMANce

i intended to write about something altogether different..but as i was getting ready to start writing i came across this picture of Tony Parker and Eva Longoria Parker kissing on New Year's Eve that got me thinking...yea, all Hollywood and American it is but the kiss they had had nothing to do with paparazzi or fame...this was just love and nothing more or nothing less...as i looked at the picture something just popped into my head...how long has it been since i last kissed someone?i don't remember...it's been that bloody long...and now am suddenly yearning for one...the moment this thought hit me i kinda freaked out thinking if i was getting desperate to have a man in my life but my need for a kiss has nothing to do with any kind of sexual frustration...to me a kiss is all about a physical expression to show how much one cares for the other, to show that someone needs you, to show how much you mean to someone and the joy in knowing that you mean the world to someone...
it's been so long since i shared such companionship and emotional intimacy with a man...i don't know if i would be able to share as its been that long...being a typical M&B person, a hardcore romantic at heart and for someone eager to share her life with a man the scenario in my life is just the opposite...always dreamt of this nice handsome, tall and dark man would just sashay into my life and turn my already topsy turvy life topsier turvier...who can be a man and still exude such boyish charm that he is the perfect combination of oxymorons that i have always envisioned in the man i will fall in love with one day...
ok me not talking nemore...i so dont wanna post this but what the hell man..this is my blog and i decide what i put in my blog right?so without further gushing and blushing and all the yucky shings i shall post it...if you can please skip this post...wait why am i being apologetic of my post and now how have i managed to start this conversation with myself so well?am smart indeed..guess what?just do as you please or else i shall never end this conversation with myself...

a very very haffy and jing the chak new year to all

woe mai gaad...this is to be the lashtest fost of mines to be making a public appearance for the year 2008...abhium naanum-whatte whatte movie, wunderrful tamizh music, japanese dancing to full on tamizh tapankuth music doing better kuth than us, a delectable lunch from kfc clucking in my tummy-aiyo rama..yenna to write is failing my cerebral hemisphere- janis akka..i mean janis joplin is to be singing full on now, cup full of dondaikkai curry (aka poriyal), one can of pepsi... my can wover (sorry ranbir baba...i thirudified ur can, but thats all..nothing better you had for me to baarrroowe)
thalai ullai suthings happening,new year is coming,confusion is flowing,in the freezer the tiramisu is waiting
and finally james marsden is all fitted in into ma D-the-V-the-D..full on jhollu i am to be intending to do i say..and finally will put the on firsht time for public appearance ma poto...but maybe wonly eyes or nose...naat to worry both clean (yeww gross)am not liking myself...smell of burnt popcorn-nauseating machan-waiting for coffee break aalso...oh whatte whatte way to end new year...and finally me the gotted haffiness for writing in my 20th post for this year...ibadeebajeebies i say!!!
a very very haffy and jing chak new year to you alls!!!!

The year in 3 parts- here's part 3 (no more days to go...just waiting for the night to pass)

so here we come to the end of a year as well as the last part of ma pseudo-trilogy...phew!!!what an exercise this has been for me...laughing at myself, sometimes smirking, sometimes wondering if it really was me and so on and so forth...so dahlings without much ado here comes the remaining four months of this year September-December '08

• a lil flashback here (sorry!!!) just a few month prior to September i had convinced myself that i could be a stylist...and i continued nurturing this conviction all the way to September when i realized that it wasn't going to materialize
  
• i became an expert at watching the ellen de generes show, the oprah winfrey show, jimmy kimmel live(i hate him totally) and every possible talk show that star world, zee cafe and hallmark were gracious enough to engulf my living room with
• i started practicing my technique of flirting which pretty much resulted in just one thing-FLOP SHOW;)
• met one hot boy which was some kinda saving grace this past year
• amicably had a complete break up with my ex
• found out that one of ma old exes knew another friend of mine and decided therefore that there is no such thing as six degrees of separation rather we now have two degrees of separation
• so according to the point above its no more a global village but is now a global hamlet and was very proud with my coinage of this new phenomenon
• started listening to tamizh music like there is no tomorrow
• realized that gay men made me feel really good and came closest to being what many people call 'best friends' (you see i don't believe in this whole best friend concept)
• started actually singing instead of my usual whining...this thou does not mean i can sing (think if i really practice in the bathroom the water might get clogged...so not even taking the risk)
• went back to teaching English to foreign students
• struck a deal with mom that by next year October i shall be in a relationship (yea right!!!shortlisting the queue lined outside ma house seeking ma hand in financial support i.e. called marriage also will take me well over two years..what does mimi know??? )
• and oh i didn't find them at fabmall thou a close acquaintance suggested i check shopper's stop...maybe sometime early next year (hmmmm am thinking tomorrow ;)
• made a genuine attempt to understand people

hmmm...don't have patience to write anymore...today's the 31st of december '08...and what's happened to me? this is me now- single, hitting early mid life in 6 months, still on the lookout for a job, mimi has taken the deal seriously and so i better get started on ma manhunt, quite broke on new year's eve, planning to watch 27 Dresses and binge on Tiramisu..sounds like a plan to ye all eh?most welcome to join but make sure it's tonight...not planning to leave any tiramisu for tomorrow...until next year ma dear pattanees...mmuuuuahhhh

The year in 3 parts- here's part 2 (2 more days to go for the big '09)

hmmm...ma numbers seem to be all over the place...first i realized that including the 28th it had to be four days to '09...then i got confused all over again with the numbers...and then the internet was down yesterday and i was bloody low that i lost out on a day and then i realized again that i actually lost it for a good reason...anyway now that am here might as well start writing what i came here for...from may-august---

• this was the peak in ma life at the old agency where frustration hit me hard that i almost reeled over
• made decision to quit and escape the clutches of a frustrated woman battling hormones and a weird mid life crisis
  
• june i was finally outta the company
• went to goa for a holiday...went crazy..had sugar rush and a lot happened (now don't go about imagining stuff sweet peas!!!nuthing much happened thou i can safely say a lot happened ;)
  
• left bangalore and moved into chennai for two months
• living with old people, eating yummy homemade food made by granny, cracking jokes with thathu, teaching him-a 75 year old man how to use the net and navigate thru yahoo mail and g mail, working on an office space, a trip to the beach accompanied by lil bites of raw mangoes
• slowly getting into the rythm of flirting with men
• revelling in wonderful tamizh music
• discovering i could after all get tanned and also be sun burnt
• endless evening at koshy's..cups and cups of chai, plates and plates of smileys, bizzare and pointless conversations-the only ones that could bring a smile on our otherwise wan face
• discovering the existence of the meow meow and the woof woof types of men

hmmm a lot happened these four months that might not interest many..but to me this was the time i spent in getting to know myself all over again...getting in touch with myself...the me that was lost in the PR job...enjoying simple pleasures of life-walking on the beach, getting wet in the auto due to rains, getting lost in a city that is new to you but is the city you hail from, seeing gorgeous old iyer and iyengar pattis in beautiful and colorful sarees with traditional diamond ear rings and nose rings...the temple bells ringing in the evening..and finally an overwhelming sense of pride that i hail from this beautiful city- 'CHENNAI'
until tomorrow for the last post of the year...nite nite dahlings!!!!!